I'm glad it's at least the end of January, but I just know February is going to feel like it is taking SOOOO LONGGG. I am ready to try to get pregnant again! When I ovulate in a few days, I know I will be thinking in my head "at this time in one month [in March] we will be trying to conceive! Why not start this month? [February]?"

Ugh, I can't wait! That March egg...our Easter egg...I really hope that is the one!!! We would be able to possibly get a positive home pregnancy test at the end of March and that would be the BEST one year anniversary present! Our anniversary is on March 22. I keep telling myself "it only took one try both times you got pregnant before, that means the odds are in your total favor that you will hit the nail your first try this time". I hope that is how it happens.

We decided to start trying in late April 2008; we conceived around May 5 and found out on May 21 via HPT. When I miscarried May 25, I stopped bleeding May 29. We were told since I m/c at only 2-2 and a half weeks gestational, it was safe to try again. We conceived around June 8 and found out via HPT we were pregnant June 26.

Oh, Lord, I know you know I have been trying sooo hard to be better at most things, especially the last week...Please, Lord, bless us with conception in March!!!

Terry's due date is on Monday. I cried a little about that today. Roald's due date is going to be orrific. I can just feel it.

I would have been 34 weeks 5 days pregnant today. I'd be soo big and round and be feeling him move...being so excited and anxious and scared about delivery.

That is going to be so strange the next time I am pregnant...especially once we actually make it to the hospital. I dread some nurse or docotr asking me if this is "my first one/time". I know it won't be as scary...nothing was ever as scary as going to the hospital 45 minutes after you've been told your baby is dead and that you need to be induced, labor and give birth to him.

I will be very happy when I go into labor or am induced next time, but it will be bittersweet and I am already preparing myself for that emotionally and mentally.

I just know I will burst into tears of simultaneous happiness and grief when I hear the baby screaming.

:(

I miss my babies